Susan was given her own room and a new bed. Thanks to her grandmother and aunt, of course. Luckily enough, her room was right next to Missy’s, and an open doorway connected the two. It made it easier after a particularly bad nightmare, to sneak into her sister’s room and crawl under the covers for safety. The nightmares happened all the time, but without a door to open, their mother wouldn’t know.
She didn’t know what to expect from her, their mother. On the best of days, she was distant and spiteful. Susan and Missy didn’t leave their rooms unless it was time for school. Grandma would honk the horn every morning to let them know she was there. If it wasn’t for her, they would never have had money for lunch. It was their only meal every day.
By the time they got home, mother would already be at work and since they were both over thirteen now, it wasn’t illegal to be at home alone, not that their mom cared about what was legal when it came to them.
First order of business was to scrounge for food. There never was anything, but when they stumble upon their father’s Vietnam rations he left behind, food was finally in their bellies.
Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Susan and her sister found it very easy to start making poor life choices. Who would care? Their grandmother and aunt were there for what they needed but never showed any real love towards them. The only hugs they ever had in life were from their stepmother who they hardly ever saw now. The good times with their father were a distance memory. His new family seemed way more important now.
So, after school, they hung out with friends and went to parties. Alcohol and drugs were always available. Susan didn’t like how the drugs made her feel, but the drinking swept her away from all the horrible nightmares swimming in her head.
Pretty soon the parties were held at their house. Susan’s mom never came home until close to five in the morning. The parties were loud and full of teenagers. Most of the time, it lead to the group running the streets and causing problems in the neighborhood. Susan never felt more alive. Who needed to live forever? Living for now was all she wanted. Until the boys started paying attention to her.
As with all poor life choices, what was one more? Susan and Missy never had so much attention before, but Susan discovered if you took things a little farther with the boys, you had their undivided attention. For a little while anyway. She was their choice at that moment. She was the one they wanted even for a brief encounter. No one was being chosen before her.
This all gave them more courage than they had before. Timid toddlers quickly became bold. It was a huge mistake. Their mother wanted the toddler versions that were not seen or heard. The ones who would quickly do what you say just to be left alone. That was not them anymore.
That… started the pain…
